How to Use Bronzer
Bronzer. It can be your best friend or your worst enemy. Take it from us: When it comes to bronzer, a little goes a long way. If you’re not well-versed in the art of faking a tan with makeup, the consequences can be deadly! Okay, not deadly, but horrible for sure. When bronzer becomes your overly attached BFF, this becomes your life’s story…
1. Being compared to Tanorexic Mom. Remember her?
2. Christina Aguilera circa 2012 at the American Music Awards. Enough said.
3. And don’t forget Snookie, Lindsay and our personal favorite, George Hamilton.
4. Orange is NOT a skin tone found in nature.
5. Nor should you resemble cheddar Cheetos Puffs.
6. You’re supposed to look sun-kissed, NOT sunburnt.
7. Muddy is your middle name. It’s actually Mary, you say? Not anymore.
8. Thanks to your poor bronzer choices, your cheekbones are chisled, not contoured.
9. When asked, “uhmm, what shade is your bronzer?” This.Is.Not.A.Compliment.
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